Focusing the mind...

I struggle from time to time between the things that I must do and the things that I want to do. Today, is one of those days. Actually, the past three weeks have been one of those days.

I love the outdoors, I never thought I would really love it like I do, but I love it dearly. My body craves sunlight. If there are too many cloudy days I get sad, if there are too many days when I do not get to go outside... I get sad.

My short summer stint at the camp, left me wanting to be outdoors, and when I realized I could not get everything done for the bar-b-q in time with a job, and a class, the job had to go so I could get it done. I did get it done. I spent the remaining two weeks before the bar-b-q outside, cleaning up the yard, straightening projects out, creating a place to do the projects and cleaning the house. It paid off when our house was full of friends and family and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. But after the "goal" had been reached (time-frame wise), I had to immediately get back to my class and finish it up. I am in the last stretch of it - I have two tests to take and I'm done with calculus and it is all that I can do to even look at them.

It isn't that I don't want to. I do. I can't wait to finish them so I can have the two weeks of the summer left to finish some of my projects... but I can't make myself sit down and DO THE WORK. My mind is tired, it is full of worry, and I am wondering at this point if I should continue on with calculus. It is kind of a booger for me - I am learning it - but I am not enjoying it. Don't I need to enjoy that to be an engineer? Ack... am I running down the wrong path?

So, I am wrapping up this note or thought as it may be, and I am hitting the books. I will write again when the work is finished and my mind is somewhat at ease.