Fort Worth Nature Center Trip

Final Days of Summer

For me, the summer has flown. I took a class that I did not really want to take, and I took a job that I was hoping not to have to take, but today - TODAY - is my final exam - I get to finish this class and I get 17 days of this summer to make something happen for myself.

I have things I want to do and plans I want to finish - so that I can start this semester (and what remains of my college goals) with a clean slate and zero projects.

I want to finish our gazebo, and finish painting the outdoor furniture, finish the "Honey Hole" (which is this imagined little spot where the carport used to be), I want to make sure no more trees die on my property and take good care of my grandfather's rose bush (tree really).

I want to get the porch rails up and finished, and help the band and the flag girls, I want to make a list of "100 Things to Do before I Graduate" for my son (this is his senior year).

I want to enjoy the remainder of the summer - drama free and without interruption. Oh, and I need to have a garage sale (which should be fun with the temperatures being what they have been).

For those interested that thermometer is on my back porch and shows what the temperature is today at my house here in Texas (it is August 6, 2012 and it is HOT today). I am thankful that for today, I am inside and though procrastinating, am about to take my final exam. Here is to one more "A" - I am throwing everything I have at this one. I hope to get it all done and I will blog along the way about my progress or lack thereof...cheers (and stay cool).

Focusing the mind...

I struggle from time to time between the things that I must do and the things that I want to do. Today, is one of those days. Actually, the past three weeks have been one of those days.

I love the outdoors, I never thought I would really love it like I do, but I love it dearly. My body craves sunlight. If there are too many cloudy days I get sad, if there are too many days when I do not get to go outside... I get sad.

My short summer stint at the camp, left me wanting to be outdoors, and when I realized I could not get everything done for the bar-b-q in time with a job, and a class, the job had to go so I could get it done. I did get it done. I spent the remaining two weeks before the bar-b-q outside, cleaning up the yard, straightening projects out, creating a place to do the projects and cleaning the house. It paid off when our house was full of friends and family and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. But after the "goal" had been reached (time-frame wise), I had to immediately get back to my class and finish it up. I am in the last stretch of it - I have two tests to take and I'm done with calculus and it is all that I can do to even look at them.

It isn't that I don't want to. I do. I can't wait to finish them so I can have the two weeks of the summer left to finish some of my projects... but I can't make myself sit down and DO THE WORK. My mind is tired, it is full of worry, and I am wondering at this point if I should continue on with calculus. It is kind of a booger for me - I am learning it - but I am not enjoying it. Don't I need to enjoy that to be an engineer? Ack... am I running down the wrong path?

So, I am wrapping up this note or thought as it may be, and I am hitting the books. I will write again when the work is finished and my mind is somewhat at ease.

I love the Holidays...

I love the holidays. All of them really. From New Year's Day to Christmas. I have always tried to decorate for them (I blame the children, but the truth is, I just want them to remember our house as the one place that felt "Christmas-y" or "spooky").

I love the holidays and have always tried to make them memorable. This year, was the first year we've ever celebrated the 4th in spectacular style. Large fireworks, big b-b-q, lots of friends and family around. Of course, it rained, but still - I enjoyed it so much. Our friends brought their kids, we always encourage that, but for the most part, they usually leave the kids at home (we can't - they live here). This time, almost everybody brought their kids and you know what? I think the kids had a good time. I think they enjoyed the fireworks and the food.

Everyone brought something and it just turned out to be - swell. Truly. Some pictures of our events (past and present).

I am feeling a little "Froggy"!

So much behind me, and yet there seems to be such a long road ahead. I, set out on a mission to attain my college degree in the Fall of 2010. Slow at first (two classes), but since then, I have been pushing myself much harder, following that two class semester with a six class semester. I did not know how much it would mean to me to make the Dean's List, until I made the President's List and then I wanted more of that feeling. More of the feeling like I actually accomplished something. I fight, sometimes painfully, for every A. I am 43 years old - scratch that - I am 43 years YOUNG. I want this. I want to finish.

At the beginning of the spring semester, I applied to my dream college (Texas Christian University), and truthfully, did not think that they would accept a 43 year old student transfer. They did. The cost scared me in to one more semester where I am comfortable. The cost also scared me in to applying at Texas Wesleyan, where I found out yesterday, I have also been accepted. Tuition is much less to go there, but I did not get as many scholarships as I did with TCU, and in the end, it will actually cost me more to go there.

With all that being said, I am going to apply to Tarleton State University as well, and weigh my options. I know Tarleton is a good school and much more affordable than the sparkly purple private university I wish to attend. If I go to Tarleton, I will absolutely continue on to get my Master's and am heavily considering law school at the moment.

But I know that inside I am a Horn Frog...and that is all I have ever wanted to be. My intelligent thoughtful brain, however, tells me to go and attain that degree from an institution that I can walk away from with diploma in hand and owing little or even zero dollars. (I mean come on, I am 43-years-YOUNG, but I am still a parent with a mortgage and a senior in 2013 and one in 2015, two more seniors to go after that, and senior years are one of most expensive years of their lives - to date).

But in my heart - my heart - is where my grandmother and mother worked and at the university where both my uncles graduated. My heart is a Horn Frog. My heart says, "darn the cost". I've never been good at following my heart. Nevertheless, I think this time...my heart may win.